Another week...

What made me think I could do this alone?  It isn't the hard decisions, go to grad school or not? stay at my job or not? that seem to be the problem, but rather the choices life makes for me, family leaving, Sunday night, deciding to stop eating when you just want to continue.  I stumble with the small decisions, decisions we take for granted or decisions that should be natural. 


I am blessed - a great family, a wonderful boyfriend (eeek), Christian support around every corner, the ability to operate and think on my own accord...but what I will work on this week and what I will decide to focus on with my relationship with God is how to make small decisions/choices easier by just depending on HIM....

Tenth Avenue North - You Are More

Have you ever been alone with God?

Today, I am inspired by Oswald Chambers..."My Utmost for His Highest"...tell you what kids...this guy has it going on...

God/Christ grows in us, strengthens us and molds us when we are alone with Him.  I struggle with this, taking the time out of my "busy" day to spend time just with Him...NEWS FLASH I nor you have the entire human worlds sins resting on our shoulders or part of our responsibility...He did and still carries them for us today.  How am I to work for Him (Ecclesiastes 9:10, 1 Corinthians 10:31) if I have not spent time with Him, let Him guide my decisions and paths.

Spending time with God/Christ is silent prayer will provide the comfort, ease and rejuvenation of that obtain during our nightly sleep...so tonight, not sweet dreams, but Sweet Conversation and Silence...

Lecrae - Background ft C-lite - Rehab

Lecrae's music just brings me back to peaceful times, true reliance on God...life does not happen on mission trips...it happens every day...let the feelings of mission trips, volunteering, and pure consumption of Christ take control of you daily.

Moving Foward...

Love is not a constant feeling, Love is a choice to be committed...God is Love, although sometimes we may feel He is not making life altering decisions for us, that does not mean His love is not ALWAYS around us.  How do you become confident in that presence?  How do you feel at ease just drinking a cup of coffee with Him or simply paying bills with His support?  God did not take a risk for us with Jesus, however He did make a commitment to never give us more than we can handle and  commitment to always push us beyond the point that only humans can understand...I praise the Lord today for His Love, His strength, and His wisdom that he continually reveals to me...

He loves from Himself 'according to His own purpose' (2 Tim 1:9) 

I (we) love Him, because He first loved us' (1 John 4:19). God did not love us because we loved Him, but He loved us before we had a particle of love for Him.

To Know You...

It started in college...a feeling of not doing enough, of not following close enough, of being scared of just forgetting what others perceive to be right and wrong, and to just focus on what God says is right and wrong.  Lately I have been struggling with this...today I am just taking a step back to remind myself that knowing God and living each day with Him in the center of my thoughts and actions is enough!!

Quiet reflection today...

Thinking about decisions...

Every day I am plugged into making numerous tiny decisions, sometimes with the potential to be life changing, others just simply a decision. Attending church today made me think about the "little" decisions I make daily...do I eat fruit for breakfast or cereal?  Should I drive the extra block to get a penny cheaper gas? Should I wear my pink shirt or my green shirt today?  I calculate them all...am I making "good" decisions though or "God" decisions...I hope for the latter.


Christians sometimes fail to realize (myself included) is that, when you are serving Christ and staying in-touch with Him through prayer, then almost ANY decision you will make will be a good one.  Consider what He tells us in Philippians...

 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philip 4.6-7

Continue (or start) asking for His help with everything, take everything to Him in prayer, and ask Him for anything & everything that you desire.  The worst He will probably say is "no." And even in those moments aren't we practicing dependence and complete obedience to His will and not our own.

And for this...I am truly thankful!

Starting Today...

Starting today...
    ...God will be the source of my confidence...the Lord will guide you daily, all you need to do is ask. Throughout my life until now I have relied on God with half of my heart, time, and effort, however today is different. Today I am choosing to FOLLOW where His plans may take me, not where mine my stray.

Remember the interaction between Peter and Jesus, when Jesus predicts Peter's denial...
    "Peter asks, "Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you."
     Then Jesus answered, "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!""  ~John 13:37-38

I find that most often I am similar to Peter...prays declaring I will follow God's plan and live the life He has planned out for me, but God knows my flaws/weaknesses/sins.  He has seen me fail.  It is now, as I build a relationship these failures started to become more apparent to me as well. Starting today, my own control, plans, and goals will become His...through prayer, patience and love I hope to release my addiction to denial of God's plans and to gain confidence in His plan and His time.